When I found out I was having another child, I was really scared about being a mum to another human, I mean with one child you can fake it till you make it but with two you have to be on your A game. I used to just sit down and cry over this , I mean Real tears. Then I had to go away for 3 months to have Ire and I was faced with the hardest decision of my life. Should I leave or take Kunmi? I asked nearly everyone I knew , debated it, had sleepless nights about it until I decided I would leave him in Nigeria with his dad and the 2 nannies.



I do not think I made a good decision. Even though I had made a schedule of daily activities and set down rules, the boy I came home to was way different from the boy I left. He was stubborn, always crying, so not cute plus his teachers said he was probably watching too much TV because he was too animated in school. I was devastated but that wasn’t the worst part , the worst part IS he doesn’t really like me anymore. The husband says thats not possible apparently I am his mother and he still loves me now I used to believe this until Kunmi himself informed me I was not his friend. He said to me MUMMY, YOU ARE NOT MY FRIEND, DADDY IS MY FRIEND BUT YOU ARE NOT MY FRIEND.

My heart is broken but at least Ire still loves me even though I know he is here just for the Boob Juice. Today I overheard my husband begging Kunmi to give me a hug when I came home from work but he said he didn’t want to.


At this point I have come to accept that maybe Kunmi won’t love me, he will just use me as his sweet opener and occasional photographer. What can I do to get my child back? How are the mummies with 2 kids handling this? Please comment below and if you would like to talk email me temilola@ftmbaby.com

5 Comments on Kunmi is not my friend

  1. Habeebat
    December 15, 2015 at 9:16 pm (3 years ago)

    Even though I’m not a Mum yet, I have loads of cousins. I think you should spend more time with him, go out together, do things around d house together and have lil talks with him…. Also get him to bond with Ire, cuddle with both of them sometimes
    He’ll soon get over it, keep calm Temi

  2. Spicy
    January 4, 2016 at 9:03 pm (3 years ago)

    This is hilarious lol Pele you will be fine

  3. Oluseye
    March 2, 2016 at 12:11 am (3 years ago)

    I’ll say give it time. He’s just a kid after all. He’ll come around. He’s probably acting out the fact that he missed you so much when you were away.
    I can imagine the heartache you must be feeling. But it’ll be over soon.
    Sure by now you’re already best buddies [judging by the date of the post].
    All the best,


  4. abi
    April 18, 2016 at 2:49 pm (3 years ago)

    Temi welcome to the club of being a mum of 2 kids. When I had my 2nd baby, hubby and my first(a boy) were waiting to receive us at the airport, I just couldn’t wait to cuddle the young man I left home for daddy and nanny to look after, I had missed him so much, guess what my son did when he saw me, he was just looking at me, while I was carrying him , hugging him, with kisses and tears rolling down my eyes. He didn’t show one ounce of excitement. next thing I put his sister in his arm, he planted a small kiss on her and just walked back to his dad. On our way home he sat on my legs in the car, and said mummy promise me you wont go to America again.. See the tears rolling down my face, chai I felt so guilty. It took us 2 months to finally become best of frds again cos he and his dad had almost 3 months alone and so they got used to each other, between he was 3yrs old at that time. just try and give Kunmi so much attention because from experience, its easy to love the 2nd baby more than the first baby unintentionally just bcos u r closer to d nursing baby now. My hubby calls our daughter mummyz tail cos she follows me everywhr in the house even at 2yrs old cos we are just so used to each other, and to think my son and I were that cool bfr I went to have his sister, and now he is all grown and wants his space(at 5) is so heart breaking sometimes… God bless all our children. (Amen)

  5. Amberly
    October 26, 2016 at 3:14 pm (2 years ago)

    Its like you read my mind! You appear to know a lot about this, like you wrote the book in it or somheting. I think that Red Bull Hats you could do with a few pics to drive the message home a little bit, but other than that, this is great blog. A fantastic read. I’ll definitely be back.


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